Apostasy (י)

by Magilla Shuwall

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This music dates back to July of 2007. I had always planned a proper studio release for this suite, but with my interests going to other styles, I must clear my books. I'd rather you hear it in less-than-perfect condition than it sit on my hard drive five years more.

Before the economic collapse, mired in Iraq and Afghanistan with no end in sight. I didn't have the new iPhone, and no one ever has any money, but what I did have was my instruments, some new equipment, some self-directed study in world religions, and a summer in the city to try and make sense of it all.


released November 14, 2012

Performed by Magilla Shuwall.

Music and lyrics by Magilla Shuwall, except for:
"Stimulus" with music by Magilla Shuwall and Thymme Jones, and Lyrics by Magilla Shuwall and Scott Rutledge, and
"Capture" with music by Magilla Shuwall and lyrics by Jonathan Butkovsky.

Recorded in Chicago, Mt. Vernon, Lake Holiday, and Stone Park.



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Magilla Shuwall Mount Vernon, Illinois

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Track Name: Church of Man
Build your towers to the sky and live free
from the ghosts of slaves on whose carcasses you stand
Our planet shakes as an affront to your apostasy
to the church of man
Track Name: The River is For Factories
We walked along the river path to be alone
You waited for me as I stepped across the stones
I cast a single rock toward the factory
That blocks our rivers pathway to the sea
Track Name: Triune
Woe to the misfit wall
Angling in ever so slightly
Words painted on it fall
Pooling together colors brightly
On a basement window built to spread
Some light to underground
Woe to the misfit wall
the first to fall when the house burns down

Woe to the straightest wall
Towering high ever so proudly
They whom it shelters call
Out from the window so loudly
That the words sprayed on it
disappear with little chance to talk
Woe to the straightest wall
the last to move when it's time to walk

A battle rages under stormy skies
A tug of war for a book of lies
And the truth is easy to find
It's written under the spine

Pull out the pages carefully
Scrape off the glue stains that you see
When you finally get down to the heart
That's when two money grubbers grabbin' only for the covers
Go and tear the motherfucker apart

Hail to the ground below
Appearing straight to those who let it
Actually a bow
gentle but there for those who tread it
Far & wide so words may reach their home
And pass through every ear
Hail to the ground below
A shelter for those without fear
Track Name: Attack
Race to the carnival where tokens are denied
Face up your general he'll take you for this ride
Looks like our weapons won't fire in the absence of air
They wage total war when the battlefield isn't there
But these pornographic fireworks & moralistic circle jerks
Are unmatched in their power to ensnare
Haste to the martyrdom and claim your virgin throng
Waste every part of them if smaller parts are wrong
Our people carry on their backs the weight of this brave front
Put up by those with some big game left to hunt
Watch em persecute disbelief imposing separation and grief
Wasting dollars skills and talent
Otherwise used to explore our time
You drop your grudge I'll drop mine
And we can plan for what's approaching from afar
I'm gonna listen to the things you say
Cause I would never have thought about em that way
& We can lead each other through the dark
But if the darkness you claim as your own
Because you have to give your evil thoughts somewhere to roam
Afraid of what your rescuers might find if they came
You gotta strike out from the center and expand your claim
Track Name: The Yards
I'm counting days by the shells of shot minutes
the church bell rings loud on the hour, though nothing but sinners are in it
The mark of the beast is sweet release from the thoughts of the infinite
Slow deaths of bodies unaware what slow is
Time displaced so bad, they don't know where the flow is
A cold night ends another week
The earth whispers but I hear it speak, and it says
"Dream on, and get lost in what takes you away
Just be sure to get back before the break of day
Dream on, and hitch your wagon to a shooting star
I'll be here to make sure you don't fly too far."
Repeating patterns, every one has lived already
An integral part of the coward's hold-steady
Steady habits, the course stuck
Making the least of the cosmic luck
Fed to people around the world, but hardly worth craving
Some easy stimulus cased people a trend in saving
themselves the trouble of natural states
a false track in the actual race
Track Name: Stimulus
Sugar weeds in the sugary fields left me riding my awkward body
On awkward legs as the flies lay their eggs in the garbage can in the lobby
So shoot to thrill, it's your license to kill, if only projected in VGA raster
My skills are honed from the days spent alone, too slick for novice, too pathetic for master
Walls of Crizals line the halls as they catch the sunlight off the snow
Dad paws through a magazine as we ask each other where we want to go
I made a promise to myself I couldn't keep
When the waking life felt more and more like sleep
Every atrocity another jumping sheep
To count and keep a tally of as last minutes trickled by
A harmless opportunity to weigh a sinking eye
Returning to a land where sheep can talk like you and I
But until one of them speaks to you, why cry?
Sugar spills as the waitress refills yet another enormous soda
The children buy, and the dealers reply, giving tap shoes to little Rhoda
And dance she will, it's her license to kill, if only projected in fourth quarter earnings
Teachers agree, it's the best it can be, everyone behaving and nobody learning
I don't ask for a lot, I just ask for what got me through the storm
Strike out from the center and you'll always be looking for things to keep you warm
And in times of cold the hottest fire will do
never mind if it burns on through

A tableau of war raging over the surface of bodies dreaming of death
Impotent bodies fucking energy projected onto a screen of flesh
The outline breaks from the contours as it forms an abysmal downward spiral
The destiny of bodies fall as everything unravels

Sugar hell cast a terrible spell, and I think I'm beyond salvation
The extra rush of the feeling is such one forgets about moderation
Run up the bill, it's your license to kill yourself and project it to all those around you
Your fortune falls where you draw the walls between yourself and what you'll ever amount to.
Track Name: Dirty
Dirty floors fly at last
Ash to air fire casts
Pulled by man from their core
Slave to him no more

Dirty face, a shattered mind
His life away the time clock's signed
At dawn he walks through the doors
Slave to them once more

Must our only option be
to build and raise high
The model of success in some
fortunate eye?
I'm holding out hope for all our people
Caught in the mire
That they can safely escape to nature
In case of fire

Dirt propelled Forming snow
Settles on the town below
Hold your mouth; don't inhale
Watch false idols fail

Dirty deeds, you've done them too
Not dirt cheap, the cost that's due
When summer ends, blow the horn
Pray to be reborn
Track Name: Screen
Screen printed on a cheap tee shirt made overseas
Pictures invoke a preacher's dream
Peasants who wear them clutch their ballot pens in dirty hands
And send him to the pulpit

Between the lines of speeches read to raving crowds
Traces of will he let them down
Track Name: Transformation Suite
The self-flagellator will rise from the lashes
Carved out on his back to the grind
Somnambulist through corridors of transit
Bemoans a world unkind

This replicator is forced to replicate a
Strain of thoughts that don't supply the whole
With impetus to carry out its functions
But takes advantage of the role

he plays to twist and turn his form
With the painful shifting of its bones
And the gaping sore is an open door
To birth a structure still unknown
Behold the hybrid opposing with his being
All semblance of external design
And carves his name with cellular dictation
And letters divine

You tell a story we'll listen
We'll lay our ears down to the sand
In hopes that words free us, if for only a moment
From the body we command
It's been unfair to us and keeps our soul
From the boundless travel it deserves
And though it plays the slave nearly every day
There's little talk of who it serves

Are you still dreaming of electric sheep
Lined up on their master's right
So steel wool can be shorn off their back
to cleanse the weapons from the master's last fight

They make the rules and we follow
Until we're shaped into their mold
We only know freedom as another promise
Branded, marketed and sold
We need another name
that sends our soul
On a boundless trip through time and space
And though we've called several over many years
He never thinks to show his face

I wanna see God so my heart must be pure
And if my heart's not pure for a man
I'll change into something that matches my heart
as best as it can
Track Name: Sex of Your Soul
Cover up your hair, the sight of it bare
is sure to summon the beast
Your place is in the home, I'll keep you for my own
and quell temptation
Put you away if you don't pay respect to the
ways of the priest
The man who holds your life at ransom
for salvation.

And if gender is your role
Your enjoyment of heaven will be based on
the sex of your soul.

Judging by your clothes, we're quick to suppose
that you were asking for it
You come to us in tears, we ridicule and jeer you
behind your back
In your report, you come up short
describing a possible fit
So many faces like his and we tend to lose track.

We've engendered many goals
And yours isn't one of them,
so says the sex of our soul

Elements of skin get twisted within
until it's hard to accept
the meaning of your body then ready or not
it gets enlisted
how far away until the day we're faced with a people inept
distracted by the basest of urges resisted

And who calls the final roll?
Brings our body to agony,
fueled by the sex of his soul?
And who calls the final roll?
Passing judgement eternally,
fueled by the sex of her soul?
And who calls the final roll?
So sincere in his loyalty,
based in the sex of his soul?
And who calls the final roll?
To praise you lik e royalty
based in the sex of her soul?
Track Name: Fumes
They meet the struggle with silence
they stick their heads down in the sand
In hopes to break shale and upturn the land

The earth's broken but the cars go fast
The flood's rising but my tower's high
However longer dead sunlight lasts
We'll ruin everything to suck it dry
Track Name: Scavengers
Predatory mother stalking with the patience
of a stillborn
waits till dawn to sharpen her fangs and break into a run
Patient is the tree who sees its fruit get eaten by the insects more and more the lower it hangs and grows up to the sun

Withheld from us is the air
Through which we might observe just how this is fair
Withheld from us is this show
Scavengers are all we know

Parasitic empires dispatch seeds
of war across the oceans
regarding all natives for the taking
if they don't agree

Pathogenic airwaves beat us down
with fiber-optic bullwhips
telling us to sacrifice our waking
lives and be free
Track Name: Dredge/It's You
Dredge the life out of my flesh with pretty painted nails
Set my heart aflutter before it stops
Penetrate my temples with the spikes worn on your heels
Keep me guessing when the shoe will drop

The checks, they bounced for every gift I gave you but for one
You tore that up and went along your way
Can't become a father when you can't afford your son
And the price is climbing higher every day

When career surpasses progeny
the genocide begins
Carried out in the prison camps within

Plan my life before I'm born to help me grow up strong
Pay extra for the blueness of my eyes
Ship me off to distant places where I don't belong
Know that lengthy silence tells no lies

Success has made me want to take his life into my hands
Just so he won't turn into who we are
I know I'll have to pull him up as much as I can
With all of what has brought me down so far
I know he'll take it on himself to set on his own
and carry me to my fortune alone

Let your mind go around the planet or to Maywood or wherever. When you come back, t here's a real person at the end of it, when you get back. A person who can get up and take off himself right now if he wanted to. But he wants to be here. He's not sticking around to fuck with you. And at that moment, however you play into his plans, or lack thereof, you are good enough. As you live and breathe, it's you. It's because you live and breathe. It's your life, your breath, your sound.
Track Name: Capture
Taking my time to just notice the time what a beautiful way just to capture this day.
We pass on by under endless sky. What a beautiful day, but all I can say is...

Hold me...
...till this morning's end.
Love me...
...please don't let it end, I'm saying,

Taking my life, my neck to the knife, it all went away when I met you that day.
My heart is huge, my love is strong, but I just fall, when I can't hold on.

Why do you...
...hold my hand no more?
Why did you...
...leave me on the floor and crying?

I thought you were the one.
I thought we had it made.
I thought you could take all my pain away.

Am I right for doubting you?
Is it right for loving someone you don't know?
I know you did it too.
But now you can only watch me as I go.

Give me the time to capture your mind and I promise you'll stay and not stray away.
Huddled under the storming thunder, what a marvelous way to spend our last day.

Fly away...
...into the morning light.
Drive away...
...into the moonlit night. I'm saying,

Taking a while just to notice your smile what a beautiful way just to capture this day.
My time is short, I'm almost gone, trying to capture your heart by the end of this song.

Help me...
...I'm coming to an end.
Hold me...
...please just be my friend. I'm crying.
Track Name: Amber City Nocturne
what you've got to do for me
doesn't match what i do for you
the ties that wore thin split right on cue

what you can do for me
is far more than i can even do
so hook up to my veins and let my life force pay what's due

and let it bleed right through
stockholders waiting, contemplating what's the perfect hue
wall street and apostate avenue
amber city, super gritty, still she sticks like glue

and what you want from me
propaganda lets me know
such overcompensation becomes our favorite show

so leave it all for me
as long as it's not things to do
'cause sure as i go on i'll do them differently than you

and wait for something new
similar goals but different roles make us boxed up and blue
wall st and apostate avenue
their nocturnes ringing in the clearing, still the toll is due